Uko umwana arushaho gukura, ni na ko agenda agira imbogamizi zo kuba hari ibiganiro runaka yagirana n’ababyeyi by’umwihariko ibigaruka ku buzima bw’imyororokere, amafaranga n’amahitamo mu buzima bitewe n’uko rimwe na rimwe ashobora kwibwira ati baranyumva nabi, barancira imanza n’ibindi.
Nubwo bimeze bityo ariko, ibi biganiro ni ingenzi cyane kuko bimeze nk’ikiraro cyambutsa umuntu kikamuvana ku kigero kimwe cy’imikurire bikamugeza ku kindi. Byubaka icyizera hagati y’abana n’ababarera kandi bikanaba nk’ibuye fatizo ry’ubwubahane.
None, ni gute watera intambwe wegera ababyeyi bawe kugira ngo muganire kuri izi ngingo zisobanuye byinshi ku buzima bwawe bw’uyu munsi n’ubw’ahazaza kandi ukabikora nta makimbirane abaye cyangwa ngo wumve wahiye ubwoba bwo kubikora?
- Bitegure uhitemo igihe gikwiriye
Ikiganiro burya kigenda neza iyo abakigirana biteguye gutegana amatwi. Ibyo bisobanuye ko kureba igihe cya nyacyo cyo kubikora ari ingenzi cyane. Niba ababyeyi bawe bahuze cyangwa bafite ‘stress’, niba uri gukora gahunda zawe hutihuti; icyo ntabwo ari cyo gihe cyiza.
Cunga cya gihe cyiza cy’akanyamuneza, muri gusangira ifunguro cyangwa se mumaze kurebana filimi runaka. Ibi bituma gutangiza ikiganiro wifuza byoroha kandi ababyeyi na bo bakagutega amatwi.
- Tangira woroheje kandi wumve uko bashobora kwakira ibyo ubabwira
Mbere y’uko wihutira kubabwira ibyawe, banza ufate umwanya utekereze ku marangamutima y’ababyeyi bawe, urugendo rwabo rw’ubuzima na cyane ko baba baraciye muri byinshi, bafite ubunararibonye ku bintu binyuranye, indangagaciro zinyuranye n’uko bashobora kwakira ibishya ugiye kubasangiza.
Kubera ko muba muri mu kigero cy’ubukure gitandukanye, ntabwo ukwiye gutangiza ikiganiro nk’urugamba ahubwo ukwiye kubikora mu bwenge kandi woroheje.
Ababyeyi bawe bahora bakwifuriza ibyiza nubwo rimwe na rimwe ushobora kubona babigaragaza mu buryo utari ubyiteze.
Ushobora gutangira ugira uti “ndabizi ko ibi mushobora kumva bigoye ko tubiganiraho, ariko mu by’ukuri ndifuza kubasangiza ibitekerezo cyanjye kubera ko mbafitiye icyizere.”
- Vuga ku buzima bw’imyororokere; ntabwo ari ikizira
Bibaho ko wumva usa n’uwikandagira iyo ushatse kuganiriza ababyeyi ku byerekeye ubuzima bw’imyororokere rimwe na rimwe ugasanga na bo ntibabohokeye kubivugaho. Kugira umukunzi n’impinduka mu bijyanye n’ubuzima bw’imyororokere, ni ibisanzwe.
Gira uti “Nzi ko ari ingingo iremereye, ariko ndumva ari ingenzi tuvuga mu buryo bufunguye ku buzima bwanjye bw’urukundo n’ubw’imyororokere kugira ngo menye niba ndi kwiyitaho uko bikwiye.”
Bagaragarize ko utagamije ko bagufatira umwanzuro cyangwa ngo bagucire urubanza, ahubwo ari ikiganiro gifunguye kandi cy’ubwubahane.
- Amafaranga arahangayikisha nubwo bitagarukwaho kenshi; nimuyaganireho
Ushobora kuba ufite ibibazo by’amafaranga y’inguzanyo yo kwiga cyangwa ukaba uri kugorwa no kwiga ubifatanya n’akazi. Ababyeyi bashobora kuba bahangayikiye ahazaza hawe mu buryo bw’amafaranga. Kubiganiraho rero ntibikwiye kuba intanbara, ahubwo ni umwanya mwiza wo kwigiranaho.
Babwize ukuri uko ikibazo cyawe muri ako kanya gihagaze, usobanure intego zawe n’aho ukeneye gushyigikirwa. Niba ufite ibibazo by’amafaranga, bigaragaze mu buryo bwatuma uhabwa ubufasha aho kuba ububyara amakimbirane.
Babaze uko bacaga mu kigero cy’amafaranga bakiri mu kigero cyawe, ibyo bakubwira biba birimo ubwenge nubwo udategetswe kweneranywa na bo buri gihe.
- Garagaza amahitamo yawe y’ubuzima
Iki ni igice kitoroshye na gato. Ushobora kuba wifuza gukurikira inzira itandukanye n’iyo ababyeyi bawe bari bakwitezeho cyangwa ukaba wikundira ibihabanye n’amahame yabo ya gakondo. Uyu uba ari wa mwanya wo kugaragaza ikikuri ku mutima kandi udasuzuguye ibitekerezo byabo.
Uti “ndabizi ko iki kitari cyo cyerekezo cyanyu ku buzima bwanjye, ariko maze igihe ntekereza ku kinyura umutima wanjye kikanezeza no ku hazaza hanjye.
Ibi bigaragaza ko wafashe igihe gihagije cyo gutekereza ku byo uri kuvuga nubwo byaba bitajyanye n’ibyo bari biteze. Babwira ko impungenge zabo uzumva kandi ubashimira kugushyigikira, ariko kandi ko ukeneye ko bakugirira icyizere mu mahitamo yawe.
- Garagaza gutuza no kwiyubaha
Ntabwo buri gihe ibintu bzagenda uko wabiteguye, bityo zirikana ko umubyeyi ashobora kuzabiranywa n’uburakari, amarangamutima akaba menshi rimwe na rimwe hakaba hanabaho kutumva ibintu kimwe. Icyo gihe nta kindi usabwa uretse gutuza, kwihangana no kwiyubaha uko ikiganiro cyahindura isura kose.
Ushobora kugerageza gucubya ibintu ukabwira umubyeyi uti “ndabumva cyane ko bikomeye kubiganiraho, twafata akaruhuko tukaza gusubukura.” Ibi birafasha maze ntiwisange wavuze amagambo ushobora kuzicuza.
- Uko ushaka ko utegwa amatwi, nawe ukomba kuba witeguye kumva
Birumvikana gushaka uko icyo utekereza cyakumvikana, ariko zirikana ko utari mu kiganiro cyawe wenyine. Itegure kubatega amatwi wumve ibitekerezo byabo, impungenge bafite n’inama bakugira. Bashobora kuba bafite uruhande wowe utari wabashije gutekerezaho mbere. Nubwo utakwemeranya na byose, ni ngombwa kugaragaza ko wubashye ibitekerezo byabo.
- Witerera iyo
Ikiganiro kimwe ntigihagije ngo ibintu byose bibe bifashe umurongo, ahubwo ni uburyo bwiza bwo gutangiriraho. Komeza ufungure umuryango w’ibindi biganiro unagaragaze ko ingingo mwaganiriyeho ari ingenzi kandi wifuza ko bikomeza.
Komeza kujya ubibutsa, ubabaze niba hari ibindi bitekerezo bishya bungutseho cyangwa wenda izindi mpungenge. Icyo ukwiriye kuzirikana ni uko ibiganiro bifunguye bikuza imibanire hagati yawe n’ababyeyi.
Ntukitaze ababyeyi bawe ngo uterwe ipfunwe no kuba mwaganira ku ngingo izo ari zo zose, zaba izerekeye ubuzima bw’imyororokere, amafaranga cyangwa amahitamo y’ubuzima.
