Mu Isi y’abazima nta muntu ukunda nk’undi kandi urukundo ntitwizera ibyarwo kimwe, gusa hari bimwe bitagishishikaza mu mboni za benshi basobanukiwe ibijyanye na rwo.
Iyo havuzwe urukundo, benshi bita ngo bari “romantique” bashesha urumeza. Bagatekereza uburyohe bwo kurebana akana ko mu jisho, ibyiza byo kugira umuntu ukumva nawe ukamwumva, uwaguhoza wahogoye n’ibindi, ariko bimwe bikabagonga igihe barwinjiyemo nyirizina, bamwe rukababera nk’umuravumba.
Reka nkusangize ibyo njye ntagiha agaciro mu rukundo:
1. Kururutisha ibindi
Nk’uko byasobanuwe n’ikinyamakuru Psychology Today, benshi baha agaciro urukundo rukabarindagiza, bakibagirwa intego ubuzima bwabo bushingiyeho, bagasa n’abifashe ku nda.
Bivuze ko umubano w’urukundo wose wajyamo ukagutera guteshuka ku nshingano, cyangwa guhusha intego, uba watsinzwe. Nyuma ya byose na rwo uzarubura, kuko gukunda gusa ntibihagije, hakenewe no gukora cyangwa kuzirikana intego zawe wubaka ahazaza.
Iki kinyamakuru cyanagaragaje ko abiganjemo urubyiruko bashora imbaraga mu rukundo rubasaza, bakibasirwa n’indwara zibangamira ubuzima bwo mu mutwe nk’agahinda gakabije.
2. Kwibagirwa akamaro k’inshuti zisanzwe
Mu kinyamakuru Vox.com basesenguye uyu muco nk’ubuyobe. Bavuze ko abantu benshi bakunze kwibagirwa inshuti z’umumaro bakazibuka umubano wabo wasenyutse. Batanze inama ivuga ko izo nshuti zirengagizwa kubera umukunzi zifite agaciro kanini kumurusha, kuko zo nta zindi nyungu z’amarangamutima akenshi zishingiraho zigufasha.
3. Guta umwimerere wawe kugira ngo ushimishe umukunzi
Ubushakashatsi bwa Psychology Today bwongeye gutangaza ko abashyira imbere abandi bakiyibagirwa bahura n’uburibwe, agahinda no kwiheba.
Bati “Gukomeza kuba wowe no gusigasira indangagaciro zawe ni ingenzi cyane. Kimwe mu byo ntagiha agaciro rero, harimo kwigira uwo ntari we, ahubwo naba njye nkasigara njyenyine ariko nishimye.”
4. Kudakangwa n’imbuga nkoranyambaga
Imbuga nkoranyambaga zibeshya rubanda. Abazikoresha bakigaragaza mu buryo buguhata kubigana nyamara ni amakosa. Icyo na cyo narakihannye, nkunda mu buryo bwanjye ntiganye ibyo mbona.
Umushakashatsi akaba n’umwanditsi wibanda ku rukundo, Dr. John Gottman, yagaragaje ibintu bine bisenya urukundo birimo kunenga cyane, kwishyira hejuru, guhorana inzitwazo no guceceka cyane bidafite impamvu.
Iyo mico yagarutseho ni imwe yavuze ko ikunze kugaragara kuri bamwe bigana ibikorerwa ku mbuga, bigatuma bata umwimerere wabo.
5. Amatsiko yo kureba muri telefoni y’umukunzi
Abantu benshi bagira amatsiko y’ibiganiro abakunzi babo bagirana n’abandi. Gucunga telefoni akenshi bikorwa hagamijwe kureba niba koko agukunda wenyine cyangwa hari n’abandi.
Gusa kureba muri telefoni y’umukunzi na byo bigaragaza kutiyizera no kwibuza amahoro. Ifoto yafashe n’abandi ikakubabaza, ubutumwa bugufi yahawe ukabusesengura, byose bikarangirana no kwangiza umubano.
Namenye ko gushyira igitutu ku mukunzi n’ubundi bitamuzirika igihe yashatse kugenda.
6. Kugendera ku bitekerezo by’abandi kurusha ibyawe
Inama zirakenewe mu buzima, ariko imyanzuro yawe itekerezweho mbere.
Mu 2018, ikinyamakuru PubMed Central cyagaragaje ko kuyoborwa n’ibitekerezo by’abandi bigutera kwibagirwa ibikubereye n’ibyo ukunda, abakuyoboye bakagufata nk’itungo baragiye.
Urukundo ni rwiza, ruranezeza rugatanga n’ubuzima bwiza yaba ubw’umubiri n’ibitekerezo, rero birakwiye ko rutagukura ku ntego bwite cyangwa ngo rukwambure umunezero.
