From childhood, people dream of having a family. While these are often considered childhood fantasies, they reflect where they are headed when they become adults, as they pursue the goal of having their own children. Taking this step is said to require a determined and brave decision, with couples needing to discuss the life they wish to have together to avoid building on shaky ground.
A report by the Rwandan Judiciary showed that in the year 2022/2023, Rwandan courts approved 3,075 divorces.
These numbers have increased over the years, as in 2016, there were only 21 divorce cases filed, which rose to 1,311 in 2018.
In 2019, the number of divorces granted was 8,941, but in 2020, it decreased to 3,213.
Students from the Independent University of Kigali (ULK) spoke with Kura and mentioned that when a couple plans to get married, they should first discuss their assets, and each partner should understand what the other values.
They expressed concerns that some people are driven into poverty after spending excessively on wedding ceremonies, only to struggle with basic necessities afterward. This issue often arises from not having in-depth conversations beforehand.
Evangeline Uwizeyimana said that those planning to get married should ensure they are doing it willingly and not due to pressure from others.
She also mentioned that couples should discuss having children before getting married.
“There are times when you enter marriage without having discussed children, leading to conflicts about having children. Therefore, it is essential to talk about this beforehand.”
Dierah believes that couples should also discuss family planning to determine the number of children they want to have and how they plan to provide for them.
“They should discuss family planning. How many children will we have? When we get married, will you agree to share our assets or keep them separate?”
Nadia Uwimbabazi said that couples should discuss their love and how they will manage decisions regarding their finances and other matters.
“Sometimes, your understanding of something might be different from your partner’s, but discussing it beforehand helps things go smoothly.”
Martin Minani feels that one of the most crucial discussions for couples planning to marry is how to manage their joint finances legally.
“There are times when you might get married without having discussed your finances, and once married, one partner might try to control the other’s assets. Agreeing on this beforehand ensures each person knows whether the assets are shared or if each retains their own.”
Relationship experts affirm that couples should continue discussing their lives together from the moment they start dating until they decide to marry.