Close this search box.

I know you’re in love, but you should talk about it before you marry…

black marriage day 1 jpg 1

A man and a woman meet, connect, fall in love, and say, “Hey, let’s get married,” and thus begins a wild ride.

But hold your horses for a moment… Psychologists have found that before couples decide to marry and spend the rest of their lives together [hopefully], there are a few things they should talk about.

Their childhood

Discussing one’s childhood is critical to understand them better. Understand who they are and how they came to be as such. You get to understand more about your partner’s behavior.

A person’s childhood explains a lot about their personalities, character, trauma and other behaviors. You can figure out why they think, react or behave in certain ways.

A partner’s past can help you understand their current and future decisions. For example, if they have an abusive childhood, they may be more likely to assault a woman physically. For this reason we believe it is important to understand your partner’s history before getting married.

The ‘LIST’

The ‘LIST’ is the history they have in the dating/relationship arena. You have to know about their ex-partners. Many people do not like to but it is a very necessary conversation.

Sometimes you need to discuss with your partner about their exes, it’s kind of a normal thing. This can be a fun and exciting way to get to know your partner better and make your relationship stronger!

Discussing your partner’s past relationships provides a window into the person they once were. It also helps to ensure that your relationship is based on mutual trust, mutual respect, and common goals.

Their Love language

Yes! There is such a thing as love language. It also takes time to adjust to your partner’s love language and for them to adjust to yours. But once you figure it out, it’s the best thing ever, unless you’re a ‘no-effort’ person.

There are five different types of love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time, and finally physical touch [which is not for the faint of heart ;)].

Love languages are each person’s preferred way to receive love, and it’s important for everyone to know and understand their partner’s love language.

Their relationship to ‘problems’

Contrary to what Edith Piaf says, love does not always make you see ‘la vie en rose’.

There is good and bad, as well as ups and downs. Partners should first determine how they will respond to problems. Is your partner a ‘flight or fight’ type? How do they behave during the first argument?

A partner’s ability to solve problems can impact the success of your relationship in many ways. When you find a partner that you truly love, you will quickly realize the importance of solving problems together and learning new ways to work effectively.

No matter how fiercely independent people may be, relationships can only thrive when they combine their strengths, avoid their weaknesses and learn to handle their differences.

The S-thing

Whether we like it or not, it is necessary to discuss intimacy. Understanding what your partner likes and dislikes is critical because intimacy is a necessary part of any relationship.

Salt-n-pepa once said, “Let’s talk about you and me, let’s talk about all the good things, and the bad things that maybe, Let’s talk about–” You will have to figure the rest out on your own.

Their dreams and the future

You must determine what they have planned for the future, what they hope to achieve, and whether you share common goals and vision.

This can help you figure out if you can both fit in each other’s life.


People spend money in various ways; some prefer to save it while others prefer to spend it. If you are going to live with someone, it is important to discuss and agree on how the money you earn should be spent.

You must discuss how you will both spend your money wisely, as well as the extent to which your partner will be involved in your financial decisions. You never know, some people are very private about it, preferring their privacy.

One Response

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Straight out of Twitter