In the heart of Kigali’s bustling Kicukiro District lives Manzi James, a young man with dreams, ambitions, and a strong sense of self. But lately, his dreams have been clouded by a nagging dilemma—a dilemma that many young people in Rwanda, and across Africa, know all too well.
Manzi is 28 years old, and his parents believe it’s high time he got married. In their eyes, marriage is the next big step, the ultimate sign of maturity and success. But for Manzi, the pressure feels overwhelming, and he’s not sure he’s ready to take that step.
Manzi’s parents, like many others, see marriage as a rite of passage that should happen in one’s twenties. To them, being single at Manzi’s age is a sign that something is amiss. “You’re not getting any younger,” his mother often says, her voice laced with concern. “What will people think if you’re still single at 30?” These words echo in Manzi’s mind, creating a storm of doubt and anxiety.
But deep down, Manzi knows he’s not ready. “Marriage is a serious commitment,” Manzi says, reflecting on his situation. “I want to be in a place where I can support my partner emotionally, financially, and in every other way. Right now, I’m still figuring out my career, and I’m not sure if I’m ready to take on the responsibilities that come with marriage. I don’t want to enter into something so important without being fully prepared.”
Manzi’s story is far from unique. Across Rwanda and many African countries, young people are facing the same kind of pressure from their families and society. Marriage is often seen as a measure of success, a milestone that must be achieved by a certain age. But this view overlooks a crucial fact: marriage is not just about age; it’s about readiness.
Marriage is a beautiful and profound commitment, but it requires more than just being of a certain age. It demands emotional maturity, financial stability, and a deep connection with one’s partner. It’s about being ready to share your life with someone else, to face challenges together, and to build a future as a team. These qualities can’t be rushed, and they certainly don’t come with a deadline.
Manzi’s story is a reminder to all young people: there is no one-size-fits-all answer to when you should marry. The right time to marry is when you feel ready, when you’ve found someone with whom you can build a meaningful life, and when you’re prepared for the commitment it entails. It’s not about meeting society’s expectations or ticking off a box on a checklist.
So, to the youth of Rwanda and beyond, take your time. Don’t let anyone rush you into a decision you’re not ready to make. Your journey is your own, and it’s okay to go at your own pace. Whether you marry at 25, 35, or never at all, the most important thing is that it’s your choice—made for the right reasons and at the right time for you.
Manzi is still on his journey, navigating the expectations of his family and his own desires. And like him, you too can choose your path. Remember, marriage is a step, not a race. And when you’re ready, you’ll know it—not because of pressure from others, but because it feels right in your heart.
