Keeping secrets is one of the values taught to a person from a young age. When you are young, a parent may give you a stern look or a peer may cover your mouth to stop you from talking about something because they think it should be kept confidential.
However, not everyone sees it this way, as there are those who go beyond and talk about others’ secrets in public, criticizing them and seemingly not caring about the consequences.
Much of what is said is not true. Some people tell the truth and add falsehoods to make the story more interesting.
This is often found in passenger vehicles, places where many people gather, in bars, at certain events, and elsewhere.
Sometimes you find two people talking about another person, not even hesitating to mention them by name so that everyone can recognize them. They speak ill of the not-so-good things the person has done or possesses, turning them into the subject of gossip.
Yet, many who ride these passenger vehicles frequently say that it is not appropriate to speak about someone in public, even if you have a problem with them.
One person we spoke to insisted that criticizing others in public is bad manners and reveals your true character.
They said, “A person who criticizes others in a vehicle shows their own flaws. What does it say about you when you talk about someone visiting prostitutes or fighting with their spouse? It shows us all that you love spreading rumors.”
Others agree, confirming that a person who talks about others also has their own shortcomings.
One said, “You hear someone saying, ‘Do you know so-and-so? Do you know how they behave? I once saw them wearing a short skirt despite having unattractive legs.’ Or another saying, ‘That guy really made a mistake. Why did he like that girl?'”
Someone gave an example of how some even talk about what happened in a prayer room, repeating prophecies made to people.
They said, “One day we were in a vehicle, and two girls were criticizing their friend by repeating what was prophesied to her in the prayer room. Honestly, it was embarrassing, and they spoke boldly as if they were telling the truth.”
All these people agree that often the secrets these people publicly disclose were told to them in confidence, and then they betray that trust.
Besides these individuals, research also has something to say about people who frequently criticize others. It shows that they don’t always speak ill of them.
Sometimes you’ll find someone talking about others but highlighting how they have positively influenced them, what they like about their actions, and what they learn from them.
Researchers say that stories like these don’t get much attention because people are more interested in stories that don’t speak well of others.
As for gossipers, they tend to focus more on people in their age group. If they are talking about a 25-year-old woman, those criticizing her will be around her age. The reason is that people like competition among their peers.
If it’s an artist they are talking about, they seek out their flaws to show they are not exceptional and that they have something better than the artist.
If it’s someone else in their age group who perhaps bought a car, they talk about how the car is bad or how the person doesn’t know how to drive or that it doesn’t suit them.
Besides being annoying, this habit of talking about others can cause deep emotional wounds that can last a long time.
Take the example of schools. Someone might tell you how they suffered severe depression in high school due to rumors spread about them, which some took as truth.
Those who spread these rumors might do so lightly, but it can cause significant problems for the person being talked about.
Although this behavior might not disappear overnight, it can gradually decrease and eventually diminish. It’s important to focus on the good in others and avoid judging them based on their weaknesses.
It’s good to remember that the way you talk about others is likely how you are talked about when you’re not around. It’s better to keep silent than to spread rumors if you have nothing good to say about someone.
